Confessions from a Mommy of Two

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Mommy Confessions 5

I have a mommy confession to make. Okay…several.  Here are my confessions from a mommy of two.  About parenting (have I perked your interest?).

Do you ever remember thinking during your pre-mommyhood days…”When I have kids, I will NEVER…(fill in the blank)”.  Or worse, “When I have kids, I will never let them…(fill in the many, many blanks).”

Ummm, yeahhhh. Fast-forward years later, I now have two active, rambunctious, bright, curious, mischievous, stubborn, loving, sweet, loud little kiddos, and I would like to respectfully retract quite a few of my pre-baby “rules.”  No matter how well intentioned.    Because now I’m a mom in the trenches.

Because as all of you mamas know, you live, you learn, you survive, you thrive, you fail, you succeed, you meltdown, you learn to live on little (or no sleep), you experiment…and you love your child more than you ever thought possible.

So here’s a message for my pre-kid self – being a mama is a LOT more challenging than you ever dreamed.  And it will be the most rewarding thing you will ever do.  So ease up on all of those “I’ll never” rules. Because you’ll throw quite a few out the window during the winding path of mommy hood.

Want a laugh?  Here you go – my top 10 things I swore I’d never do (obviously this was made before I had babies).

Top 10 Parenting Things I Swore I’d Never Do [That I Do Now]

10.) Let them wear mismatched or funky clothes.  In public.

I quickly learned to pick my battles. Polka dot shirts with striped pants, Halloween socks and a red Minnie Mouse bow was not a battle that was worth it.  My “rule” quickly turned to…if you’re clean and in clean clothes, you’re fine. Go for it. The fashion world is your oyster.

Mommy Confessions 1

9.)  Raise my voice (that sounds SO much better than yelling, doesn’t it?)

Granted, the majority of the time, my “raised voice” is to simply be heard over my very loud, lovable kids. But still…I was convinced that I would only yell if I absolutely had to for safety reasons.  (Does chasing my three-year-old around the house trying to shove his shoes on because we’re late to school, count??)

8.)  Spit on my hand…to fix their unruly hair. (Ewwww, I know.)

This is a no-brainer, right?  I actually caught myself doing this on picture day at school last year.  I was mortified.  Then, I realized it was either a “spit-do” or fly-away, frizzy hair on my little princess for her Pre-K picture.  Spit it is.

7.)  Become a short order cook.

I had listened to other moms complain about cooking several dishes per mealtime, and was quietly convinced that my future children would only eat what I cooked for the whole family.  Healthy, organic, fresh food with something represented from each food group.

I have been a mom for almost six years.  I have yet to master or enforce this concept.  I’ll let you know when it happens.

6.)  Feed them lots and lots of snacks…beyond the suggested 9:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. “snack times.”

The books I read (during my pregnancy) encouraged snack times twice a day.  Once mid-morning and once mid-afternoon.  Seemed simple enough.  Until I actually had kids (are you starting to see my pattern?).

Many days, one snack isn’t enough.  And whenever we climb into the car and they have been strapped in their carseats for .3 seconds, they are asking for a snack (I’ve learned that carseats somehow equal snack time).

So I feed my little munchkins their snacks…and Cheerios, granola bar flakes and cracker crumbs litter the floor of my car.  Yes, I give them more snacks at random times if they ask for it.  And yes, they still eat their full breakfast, lunch and dinner.  So I’ve learned to let this one go.

5.)  Demand privacy…(for going to the bathroom, showering, dressing – ha ha!)

This one is self explanatory.  Any parent understands this.  There is NO privacy.  Ever.  Part of the hazing process of motherhood.

Mommy Confessions 2

4.) Let them watch television. Sometimes, for more than 30 minutes at a time – gasp!

I read the studies, I talked to other moms, I talked with my husband, and we decided to greatly limit our children’s television time.  Of course we would!  We would be so busy being the best parents ever, we wouldn’t even have time to turn on the tv!  We would be too engrossed in teaching baby sign language, playing classical music, engaging our children in creative and sensory play, yada yada yada.

Almost six years later, I know every Disney Junior theme song, can recite Thomas the Train by heart (it haunts me in my sleep), and have seen every Pixar/Disney movie available.  Multiple times.

Not my proudest confession, but I think one of the most honest.  Although we DID the baby sign language, music class, gymnastics, swim, story time, park time, yada yada…I still let my kids watch tv.  And yes, sometimes for more than 20-30 minutes at a time.

3.)  Let them play with iPhones and/or iPads at restaurants.

This used to be one of my biggest pet peeves.  I was taught that mealtime was family time.  A time to talk and share about your day.

But actually having kids now (including a VERY squirmy toddler), I can certainly appreciate that an iPad can help…let’s say “bridge a gap,” during a restaurant visit with little kids.  Pretty much any restaurant that isn’t fast food.  So my rule is we all talk about our day first…before the iPad turns on.

2.) Bribe, bribe, bribe.

Now I’m not talking about “I’ll buy you a $20 train if you sit still during a Target run” – but, let’s be serious.  I have been known to use tv/computer screen time, fruit snacks, stickers, ice cream, a trip to their favorite park, dinner at Ruby’s, lollipops, etc. as bribes…whatever is an appropriate “incentive” at the time.  But I’d like to think I’m still choosy (this helps me feel better about the situation).

Mommy Confessions 4

1.) Beg.

“Please, please, PLEASE just…GO TO SLEEP.  NAP.  STOP SINGING MICKEY MOUSE ON REPEAT.  PICK UP YOUR TOYS.  REMEMBER TO FLUSH THE POTTY.  WASH YOUR HANDS. PUT ON YOUR SHOES. STOP THROWING THINGS DOWN THE STAIRS.”  The list goes on and on and on.  Said I’d never do it.  And, here I am.  As a mom, it’s inevitable!

Spill it, mamas!  What did you say you’d NEVER do, but do now that you have kiddos?  Let’s share the laughs and stories together!

13 Comments

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13
  1. 1
    Lisa Henderson says:

    Guilty. Guilty. And Guilty. One addition – I was going to make sure my kids at least “tried” whatever was on their plate. After a two hour showdown over ONE green pea (which did NOT make its way down her throat), that rule is out the window. My new rule is don’t eat it if you don’t want it. But you just might be missing out on something you would really like. End of story.

  2. 2
    Jen says:

    This is my favorite I used to say,

    “When I have kids they will NEVER interrupt me when I am on the phone! It’s SO rude!”

    Want to give me a call and see how well that plan worked? 🙂

  3. 3
    Erin Potter says:

    I am so guilty of most of these. Before kids I swore I would never be one of those family’s at Disneyland with a stroller. I HATED strollers! (Mind you I didn’t think about what I would do if I took a baby to Disneyland) But now I actually want a stroller even if I don’t have a kid. It’s like a rolling locker! I can survive for a week with my stroller with all the stuff I can pack in it. So I apologize to all those stroller families that I cursed before I had kids. I’m on your team now!

  4. 4
    Megan says:

    As an adult, I don’t use “nevers” too often, so most of mine came from my tweenage self exclaiming in a fit how I will never make my kids clean their rooms or get up before noon. We’ll see those hold up in about 10 years. But for now, with an almost two year-old, I can say that I didn’t think we’d be TV on all day long people either. Somehow I think I watch more of it than she does, though… She likes to recognize the characters then go back to playing, and on and on. Maybe like me she’s more into the background noise. And, here’s a big one, I didn’t think I’d spend so much time on my phone around her… 🙁 the only reason I’m not worse about this is because I make an effort to be mindful about it. And, any time she approaches me I immediately (or ASAP if I am actually doing something important) drop it and be present with her.

  5. 5
    Jen says:

    Megan, So with you on the TV thing, I seriously think the same, it’s like soothing background noise for the kids (not necessarily the moms!)

  6. 6

    My big one was the television. Now I don’t know how’d get supper on the table without it…! Thanks for the honest post! Always nice to read we’re all on the same boat 🙂

  7. 7
    Anah says:

    The tv one is the worst for me but i truly think they want it on for background noise! One time though, the kids “let me” watch tv. i heard my son playing with hot wheels say in his angriest car voice from car #1 to car #2, ” I’M GOING TO LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!” **crash, boom, bang** yes, i watch romantic comedies.

  8. 8
    Christy says:

    Thank you all for your support and posts! Love reading about everyone else’s confessions 🙂

    Lisa – I totally get it. My hubby seems to have more patience than I do with making the kids try new food. Not me!! I pretty much have the same rule as you…

    Jen- Uh, yep! Nathan seems to play the game, “How many times can I say mommy in a loud obnoxious voice while mama is one on the phone???”

    Erin – I am more attached to our stroller than the kids. It IS a rolling locker – ha ha!

    Megan – I am SO guilty of the phone thing. I’m working on it!

    Maggie – Exactly! Totally am with you!

  9. 9
    Christy says:

    Anah – ha ha! Love it! I’m a romcom fan, too 🙂

  10. 10
    Susanne says:

    My four year old wen through a period where her favorite thing to wear was the rattiest old blue princess dress. I made her wear clothes under because there were so many holes. Never would have imagined I would be “that mom” but she was so proud! One of my friend suggested I save a patch of it and have it be her “something blue” on her wedding day 😉

  11. 11
    jen says:

    Just thought of another one on the topic of restaurants…

    Before I had kids I would look at families at restaurants where the kids were wild or climbing on the booth or under the table or making a big mess, and would say, “I would NEVER let my kids behave like that at a restaurant!!!”

    HA!

  12. 12
    christy says:

    Susanne – love the blue on her wedding day idea! Isn’t it funny how attached they get to an article of clothing? For us, it is too small, fading flannel Thomas the Train jammies for Nathan…that he’s outrageously outgrown. Any suggestions of how to get him to say goodbye to his jammies without too many tears???

    Jen – yep! I try to go to already noisy restaurants so as to not to call too much attention to our chaotic table 😉

  13. 13

    Ha! This is funny. I’m pre-parenthood, and I have said most of the same things! Guess I better let it go now 😉

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