Moms Say the Darndest Things
Friday June 13, 2014see more by christy
You know how we always joke that kids say the darndest things? Well, as I was hustling my kiddos out the door for school, I was saying something ridiculous like, “Your brother is not a dog. Stop asking him to fetch things. Seriously.”
I realized that we mamas say some pretty funny stuff, too. Want a giggle? Let’s talk about how moms say the darndest things…and share yours in the comments below!
My (Christy’s) Favorites
– (While reading Goodnight Moon)…It’s pronounced goodnight “CLOCKS,” with an “L,” honey. (Dear God, please let him get this pronunciation correct when in front of other people…)
– Boogers are not food. Ever.
– No, mommy is NOT a tissue.
– Did you actually wipe your butt? Or just pretend to?
– I will give you a lollipop, a piece of candy, a marshmallow…if you both just look AT the camera. At the SAME time. Come on guys, at least LOOK like you’re having a good time!
– Point your pee-pee DOWN in the potty. (After having my shoes peed on in a Target bathroom. Twice.)
– Am I speaking English? Can you hear me? Do.you.understand.what.I.am.saying??? (Met with blank stares.)
– Wash you hands – (three seconds later) – let me smell your hands. March yourself back and WASH them.
– Stop riding the dog. He is NOT a horse. (We have a 16-pound poodle.)
– Oh my gosh, kid. You have to wear underwear UNDER your costumes (Especially at friend’s houses. Gulp.)
– Don’t drink mommy’s “apple juice!!”
– Mommy needs a timeout.
– Let it go…let it GOOOOOOO!!!!!
– Don’t lick my arm.
– I am not a trash can.
– Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell your breath. Haaaaaaa. Okay, good job.
– Why are you walking around with your undies around your ankles?
– I know you are playing “Doggy” with your sister but the leash has GOT to go around her waist. (Oh Lord.)
– Finish your cheeseburger if you want your chocolate shake.
– Buddy, it’s not okay to touch boobies because it’s silly.
– No I won’t tell you what color your sister’s puke is.
Comment below and share the craziest, silliest or most embarrassing thing you’ve caught yourself saying to your kids – let’s have a laugh, as we enter into the chaos at the end of the school year!