Tiny Oranges – Fresh, fun blog for OC moms

My sister, a fellow mommy of a toddler in the trenches, forwarded an article on HuffPost Parents a couple months ago with two words: GOOD READ. In CAPS. She never forwards me articles so I was intrigued.

The article obviously struck a chord with mamas all over, as it has been shared and shared again, so I am sure many of you have read it already, and if you have, it is worth reading again.

But for those who haven’t, I wanted to write about this article today because her words have stayed with me.  And because the article stirred up so many emotions in me, I also felt compelled to share my thoughts on “Don’t Carpe Diem.”

At first I was intrigued by the title. I am sort of a “Carpe Diem~glass half full~positive” kind of gal, so I couldn’t see myself totally agreeing with whatever was going to come next.

But after I read it, through a mixture of emotions including laughter and tears, I immediately wanted to share with moms everywhere so I posted it to Facebook, where one of my friends so aptly commented, “AAAAAAAMMMMMMEN!”

Which is exactly how I felt.

One of my biggest challenges as a mother has been dealing with guilt. Now days, not only is there the pressure to be enjoying every moment, but we also have the pressure of  ”being present.”

I know we have all heard we should ditch the dishes for the moment, forget the laundry, turn off the devices, and get down on the living room floor to play with our kids because, as we have been told over and over again, “IT GOES SO FAST.  ENJOY EVERY MOMENT.”

But to those people I have often wanted to scream, then WHO is going to do my dishes and fold the laundry?? Many days I feel so much pressure I feel torn. When I am doing the dishes, I feel guilty I am not playing with my kids, and when I am playing with my kids, I often feel guilty that I should be doing the dishes. Sometimes I feel like I just can’t win! 

When I read her article, I didn’t feel alone. And I feel like us moms need to give ourselves one monumental break! 

Like my cousin once said to me about parenting little ones, “The years go by fast, but the days are long.”

This week, I registered my youngest daughter for three mornings of preschool starting in September. Some have said, “Are you sentimental that your youngest is growing up and will be going to preschool?”

But, if I am being honest, after putting in 6 years of juggling the stay-at-home and also work-from-home gig, inside I feel ECSTATIC that she will start preschool in the fall and I am not feeling misty or sentimental in the least.  I feel READY.

Yes, she is growing up, but I am ready to graduate to the next phase. I have had to work on accepting the fact that feeling this way is OK without the guilt.  

I can’t end this post without talking about the author’s views on time. Please read it all the way through, because her words on time are such a great reminder at the end.

The Chronos time is REAL time. The “I am most certainly not enjoying this moment/phase/long afternoon of parenting time.” And can be hard, and exhausting. There is no way around it. A lot of days I am just doing the best I can, and if I make it through the day without completely losing it, that is a success.

The Kairos moments are “I AM ENJOYING THIS MOMENT” time.

If it weren’t for those, I honestly don’t know how parents could make it through.  Many days it’s like running a marathon, and the Kairos moments are the ones when you spot a friend or family member cheering you on from the sidelines, the Kairos moments of unparalleled joy and overwhelming love are what give me that burst of energy to push on.

The cute sayings, the small victories, the snuggles, the laughs, those magic moments that make you want to SCREAM “it is all SOOOOOOOOO worth it! Being a mom is the best thing in the entire universe.” I thank God for those moments, and in those moments, I can look parenting in the eye and say, I AM ENJOYING THIS TO THE FULLEST.

Thing is, it’s just not EVERY moment.

So, if you couldn’t tell, I loved this article. It was honest and raw and forgiving and real and I too wanted to jump through my screen and give Glennon a huge high five and say, “AMEN SISTER!”

You gotta read it. Click here if you haven’t already.

And I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

XOXO

LOVE this guest post by Susanne on a new way she has discovered to get the kiddos to eat more balanced meals. Here is what she wrote…

Recently my  three year old daughter, Lyla, has been ALL about patterns.

She’s in her first year of preschool and they have been learning about them as a pre-math skill.  She’s been wanting to do a pattern in almost everything we do- brushing her teeth (toothpaste, brush, spit, repeat), washing her hands (water, soap, dry, repeat) and of course when she’s coloring using her different color crayons in an order.

I just thought it was super cute that she’s been wanting to apply what she’s learning at school at home until…

One morning in one of my usual struggle to get her to eat more than just her favorite item off her plate at breakfast (bacon) she said “Mom, let’s eat a pattern” and proceeded to finish her entire breakfast, with a bite of egg, toast, bacon, repeat.  It’s been working like a charm ever since!

Although this may just be a phase (as everything seems to be in child rearing) I thought it might be a helpful tool to share as getting her to eat a balanced meal has always been SO difficult to do.

Do any of you have tricks of the trade to share on how you get your kids to eat balanced meals?

Happy Valentine’s Day Mamas!  I hope you have  LOVE-ly day celebrating with those you love.  I loved this guest blog by Linda Hunter, Chief Education and Operations Officer of Pretend City Children’s Museum, on little easy things you can do to show your children you love them. Such great reminders! 

And in honor of Valentine’s Day, Pretend City is giving one FREE admission today to anyone with the purchase of a child’s ticket from 10am – 5pm! Print the Pretend City Coupon at the end of this post and take someone you love today!

10 EASY WAYS TO SHOW YOUR CHILDREN YOU LOVE THEM

“Sometimes we all need a little reminder to take a break from the daily chaos of life and let our children know just how special and loved they really are.

In February we’re celebrating the day of love all month long, but here are some small ways to inject a little love into every day of the year!  Of course the ways you show love to your children change with each new stage of development, but these ideas bridge all ages!

Here are my top 10 favorite ways to take a moment to show your love:

1. This one works like magic - look your child in the eye when he/she speaks to you.  Keep eye contact until they are done speaking.  I guarantee that they will feel your love and validation.  P.S. It works with adults too!  It’s the simplest form of engagement between two people.

2. Put your cell phone, iPad and electronic games away and focus on your child when you are doing something with him/her. This goes for simple things like riding in the car together, taking a walk, playing or reading.

3. Trust your child to lead YOU sometimes.  Let them take the lead when walking, playing or conversing.  You will learn a great deal about how your child thinks and what they know.

4. Dance and sing with your child.  No matter what age and no matter how badly you sing, mutually engaging with music is energizing and puts parent and child on an even playing field.  This allows each to truly get to know the other in a new way.

5. Set reasonable limits for your child and consistently keep them.  Although they won’t like it, it is essential in building a child’s sense of security in the world.  And somewhere down the line they will realize that the limits are a message of love from you. But you have to be VERY patient!

6. Invite your child to teach you something.  Curb any instinct to correct or teach them and you will discover many new and important things about your child that you never knew.   And most importantly your child will feel loved, trusted and empowered.

7. Say you’re sorry when you’re wrong.

8. Take time out to do simple things together like:

* Play in the rain and splash in the puddles
* Give each other foot massages
* Read to and with each other
* Let your child brush and style your hair
* Build with blocks
* Ride bicycles
* Color on a huge piece of paper laid out on the floor
* Paint one another’s nails
* Make up silly songs
* Tell jokes

9. Establish and keep family traditions, no matter how big or small.  Once you do, you’ll see how much love the traditions hold the first time you forget to keep one!

10. Take lots of photos and/or video and look through these together often, sharing funny stories about the best times! Children especially like the story of when they were born, or when you brought them home for the first time.”

Thank you so much Linda, I think these are great reminders of how even little things can go a long way!

www.PretendCity.org

[Disclosure: Pretend City is a Tiny Oranges Sponsor. And on a personal note, one of my FAVORITE children's places in all of Orange County!] 

Completing HAVE TO activities each day with my headstrong two-year-old can be challenging to say the least.

Essential tasks like going potty, brushing her hair (don’t even get me started on the washing hair drama), brushing her teeth, getting dressed, etc., can sometimes turn into situations where I am forced to exercise patience I really don’t have.

The teeth brushing process for awhile was horrendous. I tried everything…using big sis as an example, songs, trying to give her some sense of power with “your turn” then “MOMMY turn!”

It even got down to me naming the “sugar bugs” in her mouth I was getting out while brushing. “Morgan! I see Sammy the Sugar Bug back there, open wide, I have to get him out…!”  That lasted for maybe a few brushings as she peered at me with angry, skeptical eyes as the toothbrush was working to evict Sammy.

But sadly it usually ended up with me having to brush those little things against her (SCREAMING) will which is SO not pleasant for either of us and can set a mama’s blood pressure through the roof.

But every time I felt like throwing in the towel, my pediatrician’s voice would be in my head…”If she didn’t feel like riding in her car seat would you let her? Same thing, her teeth have to be brushed, there is no choice.”

Then I remembered seeing something on www.MyFavoriteEverything.com awhile back about a Spinbrush for kiddos and thought maybe getting a new exciting toothbrush might be worth a try.

The Arm & Hammer Kid’s Spinbrush My Way! is a battery-powered toothbrush that comes with 141 waterproof stickers that the kids can use to decorate their own toothbrush.

Really brilliant because I have two girls and they even come with sticker letters so you can put your name on it.

According to Arm & Hammer, kids brush 38% longer with a battery-powered toothbrush. That is huge. So we got two and gave them a try!

My five-year-old loves her new toothbrush and I feel that she is doing MUCH more thorough job using this toothbrush vs. the normal old one.

And, I am happy to report that my two-year-old is BETTER using this toothbrush. I am not going to claim she is clamoring to get those pearly whites polished up, BUT the battles have been drastically reduced, and that to me is a success!

They are available now at most grocery stores and drugstores, but you can also buy online here. I also wish I knew these Arm & Hammer coupons were online before I bought ours!

If anyone has any toddler tooth brushing tips - PLEASE DO TELL AND COMMENT HERE!

I am a huge fan of parenting books because as a mom I really can use all the help I can get! With each one I have read, I have taken away different gems of advice or different ways of looking at things that have been helpful at challenging times. One of these gems was something I learned while reading The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children. And it had to do with kids and sharing.  What I learned from Kimberley has been so incredibly effective with my toddler (and even my five-year-old) that I felt compelled to share it with you!

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