Mommy Struggles

Last night I was staring down my week and wondering how I was going to cram in everything that needed to get done.  I love being busy.  I love my kiddos being busy. But, lately I’ve felt my weeks getting away from me by the time Tuesday evening rolls around.  It’s TIRING being a mama, right?!

So, as I was trying to make sense of the 51 Post-it note reminders I had strewn on my desk (together with my “perky” phone “beep” reminders going off every couple of hours) I decided to take a moment.  And breathe.

Then I jotted down some ways I could help myself have a better, more productive, and less stressful week – a “Note to Self,” if you will, so I decided it might be helpful to share these tips in case they might be helpful to you, too!

1. I will plan for the next day the night before. 

I will take five to 10 minutes each night, look at my calendar for the next day and lay out anything special I may need, make any reminder notes and organize my thoughts so that when my munchkins wake me up and my day is going full speed ahead at dawn, I already feel on top of it.

2. I will plan my food menus for the week.

This will help tremendously and will help me with my shopping (staying on budget and on task), making healthy, nutritious choices, and not panicking when I am completely exhausted and have to come up with a family dinner.

3. I will schedule time for myself to work out. 

Whether it’s a walk around the neighborhood with my kiddos, a jog, a favorite class at my gym, or even a workout DVD in my living room.  I will schedule my workouts like I would picking up my kids from school or being on time for a doctor’s appointment – otherwise a million and one things will come up and invade my time.

4. I will plan at least one fun thing I can do with my kids today. 

Sometimes the day can get away from me and I don’t want to forget to enjoy my children. It can be an outing, a play date, a simple game of Candyland, playing at the park, reading a book…whatever we feel like doing together.

5. I will go to sleep at a reasonable hour. 

Yes, it is sooooo tempting to use my evening and nighttime to catch up on…well, whatever I didn’t have time for during the day.  Or even veg in front of the TV with my favorite DVR’ed show.  But, what I’ve learned?  My kiddos are up at the same time, EVERY morning, no matter how late I stay up.  This is another way I need to take care of myself, so I can better take care of everyone else.

What tips do you have, mamas?  Any great advice or time-saving ideas?  I’d love to hear from you! 

This post is for anyone that might be interested in OC Mommy and Me groups for moms of babies in their first year.

Even if that isn’t you, please forward this to your new or expectant mommy friends, because a mommy and me group like this for baby’s first year might be a dream come true for new moms needing a little support.

OC Mommy and Me groups meet once a week for 8 consecutive weeks for 1.5 hours in a beautiful office suite in Newport Beach. The groups are for moms with babies birth to one year old and are organized according to the baby’s birth month so the babies are all approximately the same age. 

The brain child of Alexandra Spitz, an OC mommy of a toddler son, the goal of OC Mommy and Me was to create a place where moms could come together for information and support. Unlike activity type of groups for the babies or a meet up scenario, these groups are meant to support the MOMS.

Can I get a “hallelujah!” sisters?!?

Her philosophy is that every baby, mother and family is unique and while every new mom is inundated with hearing all the things they “SHOULD” be doing, her intention was to create a group where all moms are accepted for their choices, and what feels right for their family in a supportive environment.

Alexandra is a Certified Parent Educator, Certified Newborn/Infant Care Specialist as well as a seasoned mom.

Each meeting will cover a parenting topic to discuss ranging from things like the transition to motherhood, bonding with your baby, connecting with your partner, sleep issues, feeding, separation anxiety, etc. to a variety of other first year discussion starters.

The meetings are meant to be an open-forum discussion and a place to ask questions.

Realizing that many moms also go back to work soon after birth of baby, she also has a Working Moms Circle, which is a weekend group that meets on Saturday mornings. Isn’t that awesome?

Tiny Oranges Registration Special! 

The fee for an 8 week group is $250, but when you mention “Tiny Oranges” at registration, you can register for a February group for only $175.

There is a special registration link for you to receive this discounted rate, click here, then proceed to check out via PayPal. When you check out, you will need to put your baby’s birth date and whether you want to enroll in a weekday or weekend class. This promo is good for registration through January 31, 2013.

Being a new mom can be an isolating experience; one filled with many emotions. This “come as you” mommy group is there for you, and who knows the babies might become future BFF’s in the making!

For more information visit www.OCMommyandMe.com.

Follow OC Mommy and Me on Facebook @OCMommyandMe on Twitter for daily parenting inspiration.

Lately I have been wondering a lot about when is the right age to pierce your girl’s ears so I thought I would put it out there to get your feedback on this topic.

That’s my Emma. She’s 6  1/2 and likes her accessories. A lot. Scarves, head bands, necklaces, you name it. Given that fact, she has been asking me daily when she can get her ears pierced.

Those are clip-on earrings in the photo.  If you ask me, they don’t seem that comfortable and are leaving lasting red spots on her cute little lobes come the end of the day.

She begged to get them pierced right before Kindergarten started, but to me that was a firm “no.”  At that age I didn’t feel like she was mature enough to take care of them during those first 6 weeks, and then be responsible for not losing the little earrings.

My gut at that time said she wasn’t old enough.

The rule in my family was that I had to be 9 years old to get my ears pierced, so I thought that seemed like a reasonable family rule, so I told her she had to be 9.

But now I am in a parenting dilemma because at 6 1/2, she is much more mature than she was at 5.

We have talked at length about the responsibility of pierced ears: keeping them cleaned, turned, and then of course taking care of the earrings when the initial phase is over.

She follows a nightly tooth cleaning routine that is surprising to me on her own. She will floss, brush and do a fluoride rinse without me even reminding her.  Now she has started to put Vaseline on her ears each night as part of the routine to clean and practice “turning” her pretend earrings. Lord help me. She is all business about this.

So I ask you – when did you decide what the right age is to pierce your girl’s ears?

Is it bad parenting if I go back on our “family rule” and allow her to get them done earlier than 9 years old?

My husband feels like it is not a good message to send her ~ if she begs enough she can get what she wants. Which I agree, but at the same time I regret setting a random age back when she was 5 because I didn’t know who she would be at 6 1/2.

Note to self.

And between you and me, I would rather she wore those little pierced earrings vs. the clip-ons now that she insists on wearing them everyday!

Help! Do I let her get them done? Do I say for her 7th birthday? Or do I stick to my original 9 year old rule? What do you think? 

If we do decide to get it done sooner than later, where do you suggest we go to get a girl’s ears pierced in OC?

I was reading some Yelp reviews and some things scared me.  I know many go to the mall, but I have actually heard a tattoo / piercing parlor is almost cleaner. Yikes.  What have you heard? I need info!

Thanks friends…

xo

I took a mom sick day last month. One that was three weeks overdue, lessons learned, which is the reason for this post.

So I got a stupid cold. One of those colds more annoying than debilitating. Back in the day I probably would have called in sick to work, taken a day to rest and kicked it pretty quickly.

But since becoming a mom, unless I was down and out with the stomach flu, I would take a Sudafed and do what I had to do to make it through the day.

I used to joke, “there are no sick days when you are a mom!”

So fueled by Sudafed I went on with life with a three and six year old.  Drop offs, pick ups, classes, play dates, events, you moms know the drill.  It just doesn’t stop.  So even though I was feeling crappy I just forced myself to keep going.  I kept telling myself I HAD to be better the next day.

Fast forward 22 days later. I was STILL sick and hit the wall one afternoon when I broke down and cried with exhaustion. I felt horrendous and I was getting worse, not better.

I realized I needed antibiotics. I also realized I needed to rest and get BETTER the next day.

So I decided to call in sick.

I cancelled appointments, called in favors to friends to help with drop off and pick up, called the neighbor girl to come over for a couple hours in the afternoon to play with my girls, and when my girlfriend asked if she could take my girls from 5 – 730pm and have them returned fed and in jammies ready for bed, I thought I might cry with gratitude. People went above and beyond to help me. My heart felt so full.

I laid in bed for the entire day and within 24 hours, thanks to rest and antibiotics, I finally got better and felt like myself again.

What I learned is that I am human. I get sick, and if my body is sick, I need to listen to it and rest at the beginning to allow myself to get better.

I also learned that friends are more than willing to help.  I wrote them all an email and told them how much I appreciated them and how they could call me and I will help them anytime.

People want to help. I want to help others. Don’t you? We just have to be willing to ask for it. 

So, moms, I give you permission to take a sick day if you need it. We deserve it and owe it to ourselves, don’t you think?

Have you ever done this?

My husband and I have been SO blessed with our little girls Sadie (5.5 yrs) and Lyla (3.5 yrs).  They both have their little adorable budding personalities and mean the absolute world to us.  They are our EVERYTHING.  We had always thought we would have three kids but lately we find ourselves having an almost constant conversation about whether to third or not to third? That is the question.

With Sadie entering kindergarten and Lyla her second year of preschool in the Fall, life has gotten a little bit easier for us-no one is on bottles, everyone is sleeping through the night and potty trained, the girls can talk to me to let me know when they need something, I don’t even keep a stroller in my car anymore…

If we decide to hold our current position of two kids, things might be a little bit easier long term logistically.  Such as figuring out after school schedules and playdates, being there to spectate their games & extracurricular activities, keeping track of their school work & needs.

I wouldn’t need to buy a bigger car, taking family vacations would mean only 2 extra plane tickets, and 1 extra hotel room (when they get older).  Not to mention we already have 2 college educations and 2 weddings to pay for (girls!).

There is so much love in this home, I believe we would have a very full and complete life with just the four of us.

All that being said, my husband and I both come from smaller families and have each thought it would have been nice to have had more siblings and a little more chaos growing up.

And busier, fuller Holidays!?  Sounds like a dream!

Considering the crazy amount of love we have for our daughters, I know our hearts would grow bigger and the love in our family would just multiply with another child.

Our girls have been putting in their requests to have a little baby brother or sister.  Which quite frankly caught me off guard the first time I heard it…

And, there’s always the what if we had a boy!?!

On several different occasions I’ve had women with two grown children tell me their only regret was not having another.  Actually, this past Mother’s Day my Mom told me she always wondered what their next child would have been like.  I had never heard her say that before.

Then again, on the other hand, I’ve had a Mom with three kids be brutally honest and tell me “Don’t do it, it puts you over the edge!”

The clock is ticking in terms of a decision since there would already be a 4+ year gap in age between Lyla and a newborn.

So my question is this, how did you know when your family was complete?    

Would love your comments below with your honest words of wisdom for us!  We can use any help we can get with this one!

Thanks so much!
XO
Susanne