Moms Say the Darndest Things

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You know how we always joke that kids say the darndest things? Well, as I was hustling my kiddos out the door for school, I was saying something ridiculous like, “Your brother is not a dog.  Stop asking him to fetch things.  Seriously.”

I realized that we mamas say some pretty funny stuff, too.  Want a giggle?  Let’s talk about how moms say the darndest things…and share yours in the comments below!

My (Christy’s) Favorites

– (While reading Goodnight Moon)…It’s pronounced goodnight “CLOCKS,” with an “L,” honey. (Dear God, please let him get this pronunciation correct when in front of other people…)

– Boogers are not food.  Ever.

– No, mommy is NOT a tissue.

– Did you actually wipe your butt?  Or just pretend to?

– I will give you a lollipop, a piece of candy, a marshmallow…if you both just look AT the camera.  At the SAME time. Come on guys, at least LOOK like you’re having a good time!

– Point your pee-pee DOWN in the potty.  (After having my shoes peed on in a Target bathroom.  Twice.)

– Am I speaking English?  Can you hear me? Do.you.understand.what.I.am.saying??? (Met with blank stares.)

– Wash you hands – (three seconds later) – let me smell your hands.  March yourself back and WASH them.

– Stop riding the dog.  He is NOT a horse. (We have a 16-pound poodle.)

– Oh my gosh, kid. You have to wear underwear UNDER your costumes (Especially at friend’s houses.  Gulp.)

– Don’t drink mommy’s “apple juice!!”

– Mommy needs a timeout.

– Let it go…let it GOOOOOOO!!!!!

Jen’s Favorites

– Don’t lick my arm.

– I am not a trash can.

– Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell your breath. Haaaaaaa. Okay, good job.

– Why are you walking around with your undies around your ankles?

– I know you are playing “Doggy” with your sister but the leash has GOT to go around her waist. (Oh Lord.)

Suzanne’s Favorites

– Finish your cheeseburger if you want your chocolate shake.

– Buddy, it’s not okay to touch boobies because it’s silly.

Susanne’s Favorite

– No I won’t tell you what color your sister’s puke is.

Comment below and share the craziest, silliest or most embarrassing thing you’ve caught yourself saying to your kids – let’s have a laugh, as we enter into the chaos at the end of the school year!

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