Babies, Crosses and Sprinklers

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The day started off like any other Wednesday driving to school.

My five-year-old daughter was tucked safely into her car seat, quietly “reading” a book.  The radio was turned low to a kid friendly station. My eyes were barely open, but everything was stable. No coffee yet, but I was so close.  So close.

Then, my daughter looked up, opened her mouth…and started the Spanish Inquisition. Scout’s honor, this is what came out of her lips.

“Mommy, how does a baby get IN the mommy’s belly?  I know a mommy and a daddy decide to have a baby, but HOW does it get IN.  I need to know.”

(I freeze. Obviously, we were passing the “when a mommy and daddy love each other, they decide to have a baby phase.”).

Okay.  Deep breath.

(Literally, as I’m opening my mouth to babble some brilliant response…I’m sure it would have been brilliant), she then hits me with, “And, mommy?  HOW exactly did Jesus die on the cross?  I know he’s on the cross, but how did he die?  What’s “die?

Are you kidding me, kid?!  Our commute to school from home is exactly 16 minutes.  We had 13 minutes left. Oh, Mother Hubbard! (my favorite kid-friendly phrase).

Okay.  Deep breath.

“Oh, and mommy?  How do sprinklers work?  I mean, how does the water come OUT?

Ding, ding, ding!  I’ll take the sprinkler question for 500.

I calmly explain how sprinklers work. Verrrryyyyy slowwllllyyyyy.  Okay. Deep breath.

Just as I’m about to embark on babies and crosses, she starts singing to the “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” theme song.  Distraction!  I blast the song.  We pull into the parking lot.  Score!  I made it.

But, what happens when she asks me after school?  Mother Hubbard.  Call the husband and explain.  Better be on the same page.  Oh, and moral of the story?  Delegate. HE can figure out the brilliant, age appropriate answers!

Any of you mamas out there have funny Spanish Inquisition moments lately?

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